A Christmas Talk

It’s Christmas Eve and my thoughts turn to a talk I gave in my church on Christmas day 2016. I thought I would share that here as it is Christmas, after all. I hope you enjoy and have a Merry Christmas!

“When I was asked to speak on Christmas day, I was initially very excited because…Christmas. There’s plenty to talk about and it’s obvious as to what you would talk about. Who doesn’t love Christmas? And of course, everyone knows what Christmas is REALLY about. Everyone emphasizes that it isn’t about presents, trees and decorations. You hear about Christ and his birth the entire month of December, so I thought this talk was going to be easy. I thought I could sit down and write out a bunch of typical Christmas words and fill up time easily and be done. However, I think Heavenly Father had a different idea.

I typically plan for my lessons [for Sunday school] with prayer, asking Heavenly Father to please lead by the Spirit with which topics I should spend more time on, what to say, what to think, what to share, what to wear… kidding. But mostly I just want to feel the spirit leading up to the time that I must teach. I want to be inspired and every single time, I am. I feel ideas rushing to me a million miles an hour and the wonderful people attending invite the Spirit from stories and comments they share. We often have beautiful discussions. I have been very blessed that the Lord has made my calling in the church both enjoyable and possible.

This talk has been an entirely different experience. I said a prayer. I asked for inspiration as to what to share about Christmas. To feel the Spirit. To know what I could possibly offer to this inspiring group of people on this holy day. I thought I would be answered the same way I have been answered in the past. That I would search the church’s website about Christ’s birth and, boom! There would be an article or a quote and everything would fall into place. And you know what? It didn’t happen.

Days passed and…nothing. I didn’t feel anything. In fact, I began to worry, I began to fret that the Spirit had left me. That I wasn’t “good enough” that maybe this talk was a mistake that I shouldn’t be the one to share because I wasn’t worthy. That I didn’t have anything to contribute or worth sharing.

Now I am sure all of you are expecting the “and then it happened…” but I want you to understand something. I want you to know just how empty I felt. That me telling this story is a few moments in time to get to the “and then it happened” when, in fact, it was days…weeks. Time seemed to drag on and I was getting to the point when I figured I would just read a good story and share some “in-sight” and sit down and call it a day. I would be left feeling just as empty after the talk as I did leading up to it with no fulfillment for me or anyone in the congregation.

Don’t worry, I want to share with you my “and then it happened”. I was driving in my car. Because that’s how I get places and it is often time to reflect. Those who know me best know I am a tad abstract, so my reflection is typically all over the place and I gain absolutely nothing from it. However, this particular day I was thinking about a particular person in my life who set in motion a string of events that quite literally turned my life around. This person is also the source of a lot of pain, anxiety and depression that I have come to know quite well. Why I was thinking about him? Who knows. Those thoughts are intrusive and tend to stay for a while. Leaving me in tears with feelings of hopelessness and distraught. While driving in my car I realized that the darkness that unfolds is staying for shorter and shorter amounts of time. I am able to claw out of that unforgiving pit just a little faster as each day passes. And while I was thinking about how far I had come, I realized that I am approaching the 2-year anniversary of the worst night of my life. And I thought to myself, “wow, time really does heal”. And immediately following that thought, something far more intrusive and pertinent, was “Christ heals better”.

That’s it. Three words. 17 letters. And a very, very, powerful message. Christ heals better. And then it dawned on me. That’s why Christmas is so important. Christ was born so that he could present the greatest, most selfless gift to each and every one of us. Christ came so that the Atonement could be carried out, so that we would not be alone, and that HEALING was made possible. Healing not just from sin, but from sickness, anger, depression, anxiety, sadness, physical pain; everything. All our mortal bruising could not only be faded by time, but completely healed through Him. Christmas is important because the Savior who was prophesied about, came. He arrived in the humblest of circumstances and maintained that humility throughout his entire life. Then, when push came to shove, he humbled himself before our Heavenly Father and went through unimaginable pain. In that moment in my car I thought to myself: “In some of your darkest moments when you thought there was no way out, the pain was too much, the anxiety unbearable, the depression crippling, take all of that and imagine how Christ must have felt. Your Savior. Going through hundreds of times worse for you. So that you would not have to be there alone. You may not have noticed, but He was there. He knows EXACTLY how you felt, and he was right there with you. Patting you on the back, telling you it will all be okay. Just one more step forward, and you’re in the light. You can do it, Sammi. I know it’s tough. I’m with you every step of the way”.

This experience reminds me of a picture that I absolutely adore. It was painted by David Bowman and it is a picture of Christ embracing a man. But the look on His face is pure happiness. With a smile from ear to ear. It is a depiction of Christ that I hold dear to my heart because He always looks so somber and serious in a lot of the videos and pictures you see of Him. This is how I imagine my reunion with my Savior. When we finally get to meet, and he’s there, telling me: “I knew you could do it!” and I get close and tell him the honest truth; “I couldn’t have done it without you.” And in that moment, the gratitude I feel will be so much I cannot bear it. And he will lift me in his embrace with that smile on His face and tell me He did it because He loves me.

And that is the truth behind Christmas. He came because He loves me. He loves you. To those feeling insignificant, don’t. You matter. You are important. To those with a broken heart, stay strong, smile, Christ heals. To those with anger, let go. Peace is to come. To those who are feeling guilt, forgiveness is on its way. To those with physical ailments, it is not forever. In fact, nothing is forever. That is why the Atonement is so special. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and Christ is at the center of that light. The Atonement is the great “and then it happened” for all of us.”

Thanks for stopping by, know you are loved.