The Prince Of Peace

This year I had an urge to buy a new Christmas tree, buy new ornaments, and do a whole new theme. After splurging on new ornaments and a woodland theme Pinterest board started, I got ready to create something beautiful in my home. Then it hit – buyer’s remorse. I felt bad for the purchases because we had a tree, and I had ornaments. Both perfectly fine and functional. After talking it out with my husband, I resolved to return the items.

But the ornaments sat, untouched for days on my kitchen counter. I couldn’t bring myself to return them. It made me sad. Hubs commented on the clutter one night and I told him I would take it back, but I admitted to the gloominess. A few minutes later, we are sitting in the basement, old tree is up, not decorated and unlit, but standing next to a wall. Old ornaments sitting in a bag ready to be placed in their rightful spot. It was there, staring at that tree, that I realized why I didn’t want to let go of the new.

It wasn’t about the ornaments – it was about the memories attached to each one. What they represented to me. Where they came from. And why I didn’t want to use them. I was avoiding the inevitable heartbreak I experience every time I decorated with them.

My grandma, who has since passed away, always gave each of her grandkids a new ornament for Christmas. Me being the oldest grandchild, had quite a collection built up. Each one unique, all with a sweet memory attached to it. I don’t have those ornaments anymore. They were tossed out along with numerous other belongings by my ex, Rich, when I left Arizona. For the past 4 years I have been decorating a Christmas tree with replacements my mother gave me. Still from my grandma, but you can see where my mother crossed out someone else’s name and wrote mine above in black sharpie. Still something I will keep forever, still a piece of her I hold dear, but, painfully, not mine. For the past 4 years I have been reminded of the trauma and why I don’t have them. Every year it’s been torture, tears shed privately to not distract others from the joy that is decorating a tree for the holidays. This year I didn’t sneak off to my bedroom to fall apart. Instead, I let it out right there on the couch next to my poor, lovingly confused husband.

His response to my shaky explanation of the epiphany I just had: “Tomorrow we are getting a new tree and you keep those ornaments you bought. There is no reason for you to have to do this every year”.

He’s right. I don’t.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid”

John 14:27

I said a lengthy prayer that evening asking my Father in Heaven to give me that peace. I prayed that my grandmother, who I know can see me from the other side, wouldn’t be offended at her ornaments staying in a bag this year and that she would know that I love and miss her deeply. I prayed that I could use this opportunity to let go of the past and leave it with Him, my Savior. Let my trauma, pain, and sorrow be swallowed up in His atonement. That I could be renewed. Peaceful with the past. At least for the Christmas season.

 “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: … and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”

Isaiah 9:6

“Prince of Peace”. A prince, that was born in a stable and laid in a manager. A prince, who spent his time amongst the homeless, poor, and broken. A prince, whose only crown was made of thorns. A prince, who was the world’s greatest conqueror, victorious over death, sin, and heartache. A prince, who calmed troubled seas and continues to calm troubled souls. A prince, who heals broken bodies and broken hearts. A prince, who through all these good works and so much more, brings peace to the world. An eternal peace.

I now have a beautiful woodland themed tree complete with LED color changing lights thanks to Hubs. I needed new. I needed a new tree, new ornaments, and a new me. I needed the peace the ‘new’ brought. That peace came from my focusing on the true meaning of Christmas, the Prince of Peace, Himself, Jesus Christ. Every time I placed a new ornament on the tree, I thought of Him and what He did for me. The reason I was finally able to experience this peace. I hope that this season each of us take the time to express our heartfelt gratitude to our Heavenly Father for that sacrifice. I hope that we each take time to focus on our Savior’s birth and realize what that means to each of us individually. To those of us that are amongst those that are struggling, I hope that we take the time to lift them up and let the Savior work through us to bring them peace. I hope that those of you who are struggling, especially this time of year, feel that the Savior loves you dearly. That you are precious to Him, invaluable and irreplaceable. I hope we all find peace.

Thank you for stopping by, know that you are loved.